Dear Kevin,
My brother-in-law is well-known in the region we live in — and also is a bit of a nitwit. Proof of this is his notion that he should run for Congress. He has more opinions than knowledge but local advertising for my wife’s family business has featured him — making him a familiar figure. He does a lot of good works with company money, so he knows a lot of prominent people.
My wife is the brains behind business’ success but never wanted to be its public face. Her acumen is why their parents made sure she owned more than him when they retired. She’s made a lot of money for all of us, and we don’t want some idiotic pronouncement by her brother to bring the wrath of angry partisans upon us.
If my brother-in-law starts to look like he is gaining traction in a campaign, we dread the attention our business may attract — weepy disgruntled ex-employees, the odd container of hazardous waste disposed of in the wrong place, unhappy contractors. Politics is brutal.
He has fallen into the clutches of some political consultants who see a big payday. How do we discourage this risky gambit?
—Collateral Damage
Dear Damage,
There is no gentle way to smother the deluded ambition of a budding politician once the virus takes hold. An appointment with reality will be painful but inevitable. Try to contain your sly anticipation. Pretend you are a shrewd strategist and an opposition researcher to investigate your brother-in-law. You will be stunned at what these modern masters can find without having to go to Russia.
Download his social media accounts if he has not already dusted them off the internet. Review your own emails, texts and group messages from him. If he’s as opinionated as you say, there ought to be some choice nuggets. Whatever you find, assume there’s worse out there.
Then the hard part. You or some other family member can share with him some choice bits of what you and the researchers have found. Remember, there won’t be anything he does not already know, but there will likely be plenty he wish you did not. Meet with your brother-in-law without the consultants (who will minimize any fatal defects for a few bucks) and explain the likely consequences for him and the rest of your family.
If that doesn’t work, feed a tidbit or two that you have held back to a local reporter, rival campaign, or political party leader. Any one of them will deliver the unvarnished message. He’ll soon discover he’d rather spend more time with his family than serve in elected office.
If you are impaled on the horns of a dilemma and want to risk receiving advice, tell your tale to Kevin Rennie [email protected]. Identities will be protected. Messages may be edited.
